‘The Brain Eater’s Bible’ is a gruesome guide for the newly reanimated

Zombie survival guides have taken on many forms over the years. From the recently released Z is for Zombie to The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, there are numerous fictional accounts on how to deal with the pending apocalypse. Consider yourself prepared.

But what about the zombies? Where’s their guidebook?

The Brain Eater’s Bible takes the unique approach of an extended journal entry written by J.D. McGhoul, a rare type of zombie that can think, run fast and spill his literary guts (at least on the page). The 151-page book, written by Pat Kilbane, is both funny and somewhat educational. Although an undead apocalypse is not likely to happen anytime soon, The Brain Eater’s Bible does offer a lot of scientific analysis of the human body, human combat and the inner-workings of the brain. And the zombies in The Brain Eater’s Bible love brains; it’s their sole means of sustenance.

Each section of the book is divided into personal journal entries from McGhoul, plus a chapter of helpful hints on various topics. In the revealing journal entries, we find out that a contagion known as the PACE virus has wreaked havoc on the United States, causing the infected to turn into zombies. These decaying undead beasts (although McGhoul, a zombie sympathizer, would object to such a term) can sacrifice nearly every part of their body to infect more people and spread the contagion. Their one vulnerability is called the Encephalic Node, or E-Node, a “gnarled ball of gristly nerve cells” at the base of the brain. If the E-Node goes unharmed, then the zombie continues to walk the earth. Damage the E-Node and the zombie drops forever.

Throughout the six chapters of the book, there are several helpful diagrams and pictures to accompany McGhoul’s text. Although The Brain Eater’s Bible is always a tongue-in-cheek guidebook, some of the zombie makeup work in the pictures is bloody impressive. McGhoul’s own self-portrait is a truly horrifying clown-like face where open sores outline cold, dead eyes. Kudos to Brian Ulrich for his artwork, Dean Jones for his makeup, Neil D’Monte for his original illustrations and Brian LaRosa for his direction.

For those looking for tales of the apocalypse and vivid characterization, The Brain Eater’s Bible is not the best book. Kilbane never breaks from his premise that McGhoul is in control and writing down these helpful hints for other zombies. There are explanations of how the PACE virus may have originated, and you get a cursory feel for McGhoul’s previous life as a human, but for the most part the book is meant to be a 1-2-3 compendium. The rubric is appreciable, even if at times it proves frustrating. Sometimes you just want to know more about the new zombie terrain (idea for a sequel, perchance?).

Kilbane needs to be commended for executing an original idea in a genre that is quickly becoming cliché. His skill at describing the many ways a zombie may be killed (from submachine guns to thrusting weapons) shows an obvious penchant for thorough research. The author never throws something out to the reader, leaving it unexplained and undeveloped. Every little morsel of the undead’s new life is dissected and commented on. Before the book even gets underway, there is a full page of medical and military experts who offered their advice for the book.

Perhaps the greatest compliment one could give The Brain Eater’s Bible is that if a zombie apocalypse were to occur in the coming days, I may just grab a copy of Kilbane’s book to see what the other side is thinking. Right now, it’s entertaining; one day it may be prove useful.

• The Brain Eater’s Bible: Sound Advice for the Newly Reanimated Zombie

• By J.D. McGhoul with Pat Kilbane

• Mythodrome, 151 pages (hardcover)

• Retail price: $19.95

• Rating:

• Click here to purchase The Brain Eater’s Bible by J.D. McGhoul with Pat Kilbane.