‘JERSEY SHORE’ REVIEW: Lock up your sons and daughters, they’re back!

They’re back…

Something we’ve all been waiting for…

A chance to witness animalistic behavior, strange mating habits and ferocious eating…

No, not Shark Week. It’s the new season of the Jersey Shore.

This season, the Jersey Shore cast heads to Florence, Italy. I am sure many of you are asking the same question: Why?

I guess the MTV producers have not figured out why we all tune in. The backdrop of the show doesn’t matter much. Whether they are on the boardwalk of Seaside Heights, N.J., the gorgeous beaches of Miami or the historic city of Florence, the show still delivers outrageously lewd behavior, idiotic sayings and fist-pumping dance moves that make us all wonder, are they for real?

This season will not disappoint.

Nothing, except maybe the United States’ dwindling credit rating, has more potential to embarrass our nation among its European neighbors or set us back in foreign diplomacy than this rowdy bunch. The only difference is that instead of butchering the English language, they have turned to the native tongue of Italy.

A few highlights or lowlights depending on how you view this show:  Mike, The Situation will be affectionately known as La Situacione (a play on the Italian version of his infamous nickname) while exploring the free spirited women of Europe.

Snooki’s dilemma of staying faithful to her gorilla boyfriend back home seems even harder when La Situacione tries kissing her during a drunken night out. Much to the surprise of the rest of the cast, Mike claims to have “hooked up” with Snooki prior to the taping of this season.

Sammi and Ronnie are broken up. Surprise surprise! While they both seem excited about the prospect of being single in Italy, I think any loyal viewer would wager to say they get back together before the end of the next episode.

Vinny is trying to master the Italian language while Pauly D and Snooki are trying to master the art of driving stick shift through the narrow streets o downtown Florence in search of GTL.

J Woww looks oddly feminine after shedding much of her muscle this season, courtesy of her gorilla boyfriend back home who is a personal trainer. Last, but not least, Deena appears to want to be just one of the guys until she provocatively kisses Pauly D during their first fist-pumping night out at the club.

Not much has changed, other than broadening their horizons by sharing their crazy antics with the world.

By Bear Adams / TV Columnist / Bear@HollywoodSoapbox.com

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